Remembering My Father

My gratitude to God for my father. I am blessed to have known him, loved him, and been loved by him since the day of my birth.

My father has always been a very special person...flawed and imperfect, as we all are, but loving and generous. Today is my dad's 4th Death Anniversary. The man who had the most influence on the man I became passed away on Oct. 22, 2004. He succumbed to a heart attack at age 52 and It was one of the saddest days of our lives. My whole family was stunned as he had never been previously diagnosed with any heart conditions and it was a shock beyond words can describe. It has been said that the loss of a parent is one of life's most traumatic events. I now know the devastating truth of that statement. My dad was a very important person in my life, and he still influences me in his death. I am grateful for all of the things he did for me. I know now how right he was even when I thought I knew everything.

The last time I saw my father was a warm night in mid march, 2004. He dropped me off in the airport where I was scheduled to catch a flight back to NYC. He gave me a big hug and wished me well. He said he was proud of me and told me to take care of myself. To this day I can never forget those last moments and keep re-living them every time I close my eyes.

My father was a prideful man, but not like most would think of it. He was proud of the achievements of my mother and myself; Though my brothers were young, he always encouraged them to dream and achieve. He was proud of the achievements of everyone in our family; he was proud of the accomplishments of his friends and everything in my father's life centered on caring about others. My dad never let a friend ever be forgotten, no matter where he was, and that's a major tribute to the kind of man my father was.

My dad was a genius when it came to movies. He loved watching movies. In fact he was crazy about them. I remember he would stay up till 3.00AM watching movies almost everyday and he used to write reviews which were published for various magazines/papers. He had this knack of knowing what will click with the audience and he served as a story editor, writer and gave creative inputs for dozens of films. I remember a lot of producers and directors used to come to my dad for ideas around story and screenplay. When he listened to a story or a song for the first time, he used to say immediately if it will be a hit or flop and sure enough he was never wrong. And even now, when I watch a film or a show, the first thing I think is how he would critique it.

With my dad, every Sunday was 'Breakfast Day'. He used to take me, my brothers and all my cousins to have breakfast at our favorite drive in restaurant. I remember the first watch he bought me at Alsa Mall. To this date, I guard it with my life and wear it on every important occasion in my life. He also bought me a He-Man toy every month and I always think of him every time I look at my Castle Greyskull and remember how he used to play with us sometimes.

My dad was also a teacher early in his career and I remember all the lessons he used to give me when I was young. He used to be very strict with me when it came to studies and I remember every time I flunked, he would take extra time to tutor me and teach me the lessons again. I greatly enjoyed our time and after a while I began flunking on tests in 5th grade on purpose and would proudly come home and demand that he tutor me again.

I remember my dad taking me to learn how to drive. I got my earliest driving lessons from my dad in his white ambassador. I was so excited that he actually allowed me to get behind the wheel of his car and the more I got excited, the more paranoid he got. This one time, I remember getting into an accident as I misjudged the distance and rammed into a truck. Luckily no one was hurt and my dad was sitting next to me and had the presence of mind to handle the situation, while I was still sitting quite stunned.

Most of all, though, I remember my dad coming to the airport to pick me up and drop me off every single time I came back home. Ever since I left home, he had not even missed coming to pick me up and drop me off even once and I can still almost see him every time waiting for me when I go back home. Next was his belief in his God; belief was important to my dad. He used to make a trip to Tirupathi every year without fail even if he had to go alone.

I learned from his strengths; I learned from his weakness and it is all those strengths and weaknesses that has taught me how to be the person I am today. I was only 26 when I lost my dad and I so desperately to tell him how much has happened in the last 4 years since he has left us. I want to wrestle with him on the floor, I want to watch him working from afar. I want to fly him around the world and take him to all the places he always wanted to go but never had the time to. Though there are a lot of things I will never be able to share with him, he has left me with a life time of memories.

I never fail to think of him even though I know that he is not there anymore. Sometimes I pretend he is still there and talk to him. Over the last few years I have discovered many ways I am similar to my father, but it was not until this year that it really struck me just how many similarities there are. I cannot of course speak of them, but I just wish dad is still here with us to share our successes and happiness.

Miss you dad and we love you and I know you are watching over us and guiding us wherever you are!!